Tending Creativity Podcast Episode 012 | Going to Art School, Running an Etsy Shop, and Living Your Truth ft. Ela Hosp

Welcome to the Tending Creativity Podcast!

Episode 12: Going to Art School, Running an Etsy Shop, and Living Your Truth ft. Ela Hosp

For this episode I talked with artist Ela Hosp all about her experiences as an art student, running an Etsy shop and more.

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In this episode we talk about:

  • Ela introduces herself and her work.

  • Ela's relationship with art and creativity growing up and in high school.

  • Ela's experience deciding to go to school for art.

  • Ela's experience at Kansas City Art Institute and then leaving, taking breaks from college and transferring.

  • Ela's experience starting with Etsy and deciding to focus on it after losing her other forms of income due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

  • The stress of having Etsy as her full-time source of income, and focusing on art for the purpose of selling.

  • Ela's school work vs. personal work and Etsy work-scultpure and print-based work.

  • Ela's creative process.

  • The importance of sketching and sketchbooks.

  • Being busy, overwhelmed and bedtime revenge procrastination.

  • Ela's thoughts on life after graduating college.

  • The importance of doing what feels right for you and not what you think others expect of you.

  • Digital tools-iPads, Procreate and scanners.

  • The benefits of digital drawing tools.

  • Using and creating with what you have.

  • How Ela takes breaks from creating-cleaning and organizing, camping, thrifting, and doing nothing

Ela’s Etsy Shop

Ela’s Instagram

Ela’s YouTube Channel

Ela’s Portfolio

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Host/Marissa's Instagram

Host/Marissa's Youtube Channel

Transcript of Interview Portion Below


Marissa  I  was thinking that we could start with you just introducing yourself and what you do and what you're interested in.

Ela  Sure, yeah. Well, I'm Ella Hosp, and I'm an artist in the Midwest. I focus primarily, in my work for school- it's mostly sculptural fiber, with an emphasis on like, sustainability, reusing materials and stuff. But a lot of my more well known work is illustration. That's what I think people know me most as- just like stickers and T-shirts and stuff. I've got a running theme of doing animals on skateboards, roller skates, that whole thing. Gunna keep going with that. That's probably about it for me. I'm just a creative person trying my best.

Marissa  Yeah, cool. Cool. Um, so do you mind me asking how old you are? 

Ela  Yeah, no, I'm 24. A lot of people think that I'm younger than I am for some reason. I think maybe because, I don't know, maybe my like style and stuff is really... I don't know, colorful and bright. So people tend to associate that with people that are younger. But yeah, I'm 24. I'm still in school. So it's weird. I'm in a weird transitional life time. 

Marissa  Yeah I totally get that. I was just wondering just so I can get an idea of like...

Ela  Yeah.

Marissa  Cuz I'm 26. Just so I could see like, generationally... 

Ela  I never know. 

Marissa  I know! 

Ela  These days, you know? 

Marissa  Yeah, I feel like being in my 20s, it's like, in terms of like people's ages it's different than I thought it would be like, I could see someone who's like 35 and they could look like... or like, I don't even know what it means to look like a certain age, you know, because it's like, I get different impressions.

Ela  I feel you. I feel like anyone who- like people from like, ages like 15 to like, 40 they all look the same to me now.

Marissa  Yeah! It's like, what does age even mean? Okay, so I wanted to kind of, so I'm, I'm interested in asking like about your experience with school and stuff. But like, I was wondering, like growing up, what your life was like, and how did you develop your interest in art? Is that something you were always interested in?

Ela  For sure, yeah. So I've always been a very creative person. I don't think I really thought of art as a career until my senior year of high school, kind of like applying to schools and stuff. I actually got recruited by the Kansas City Art Institute, because of my portfolio and just people that I had been involved with. I actually didn't really do much art with my school in high school. I did all my art classes at this local art center in my city. And so it was very interesting, creating a portfolio that was purely made on my own time and not made for school. So I think that maybe set my work apart from other people my age, which is maybe why KCAI was interested in me. And then I ended up getting some scholarships to go to school there. And I went for a year and a half. And it was fine. But I kind of realized I didn't really want to be a gallery artist, and I wasn't like competitive enough to be able to, like have this like, I don't know, it's just very competitive when you're an art student. People, some people thrive in that. And some people are like, "this is not for me." And I was one of those people that was like, "This is not for me." I've always struggled a lot with, I guess, like capitalizing off of my art. Because to me, it's something that I never felt like I had a choice with, like creating. It's like having another arm. So it was weird. Like putting things on a platter and trying to like sell them to people. So yeah, I went to KCAI for a bit. It didn't work out, I ended up coming back to my hometown and transferring to a school here. Still doing art, but it's like much more low key. And then I kind of decided that I wanted to potentially like teach art. I went that route, but then I was like, "no." And so yeah, I'm just right now still just an art student. Like I said, my emphasis is sculpture and fiber. So that's kind of what I'm doing. And it's been really hard to like, think about, like I said, as somebody who doesn't want to be a gallery artist, I think that a lot of people think when somebody wants to do art for a living, that's typically what they think, like somebody who has work in shows and does stuff like that, but I don't want to do that. So I think a lot of people are like, "Well, what are you even doing?" But I still think it's important to celebrate art even as something that isn't a commodity for other people just as like catharcism or something like that. I don't think that every artist needs to be successful and sell their work in order to be considered an artist. So I'm just trying to live my truth and I'm still figuring things out as I go, but things have gotten a little better. I think I'm on a clearer path now.

Marissa  That's cool. Yeah, definitely, like, especially... I'm like, glad that... cuz like when I was growing up that's kind of, that was like the only thing I knew, like the way that I knew of people being artists. So that's another thing that I appreciate about, like the internet and stuff like seeing- my eyes being opened to like different ways that people can... 

Ela  Yeah.

Marissa  Like, I'm like one: like you said, they don't have to, you don't have to always like capitalize off of it. But if they, somebody does want to have like a career in the creative field, or like in the arts, there's so many other ways to do it. And I'm like, "Damn, I never knew all this." And I'm still like- and it's kind of like, people are still just like making new ways of being an artist, which is really cool. I mean, I guess that's probably something that's like, always been done, but it's just not as, it wasn't as visible. 

Ela  Exactly, I think now is probably like the best time to be an artist or creative person, because it's like, we have a lot of outlets and a lot more exposure than we used to. So I think that I'm happy to see like on Tik Tok and stuff, a lot of artists gaining their success from like those platforms and stuff. I think that's really cool. 

Marissa  Yeah, cool. So you said in high school that it wasn't until like your senior year that you did think of it as like being a career. How did that shift happen? 

Ela  Yeah. Well I, I started my Etsy shop when I was like, 15. But I literally just made like, beaded bracelets, and like little $1 zines. I didn't really think of anything of it, it was like I probably made like, $10 a month, like it was not going to be something that I could make money off of. And then yeah, my senior year, being just being forced, because like, for my enrichment class, we had to apply to a certain amount of schools by like, mid term for like a grade or something like that. And so I was just like, applying to schools and stuff and thinking about, like, what my talents were and what I would, like, really enjoy doing, you know, for a living, trying to figure out how to follow the rules of society, while still like finding my own happiness. And so I think I always was very creative, and always had that sort of outlet. And then I got that opportunity with KCAI. And I toured their school. And I was like, "I could see myself doing this." So I think that's how that came about. And then after that, I just kind of took it and ran with it. I think Instagram was a big outlet for me, I kind of think that that's where a lot of- I met a lot of people on Instagram, who were other artists, and then I formed friendships with them. And I just kind of like, I just melted into it. 

Marissa  Yeah. 

Ela  And then that's, that became who I was. And that's who I am now.

Marissa  Cool. So, and then when you came back, so you said you were there for like a year and a half. I guess well, what was it, because you said like it didn't work out and what was it like being in that...Because would you say like that was a since it was like, focused on like being a gallery artist and stuff... and like where you are now is... do they still have that kind of like lens too of like they're trying to gear up students to be gallery artists? Or is it more like, depending on the student?

Ela  Yeah, I have a friend who goes to school there still. So I kind of still sort of see when she is talking to me about like her experiences there, I still see a lot of the parallels that I was experiencing as a student there. I actually took a year off at KCAI in between my year and a half there. Because I had work in a show in LA and work in a show in New York City. And I was traveling and setting up installations and stuff, which to everyone sounds like a dream, but it was very chaotic for me. And I think that that was really pivotal in my decision where I was like, "What am I doing here?" 

Marissa  It made you realize like...

Ela  Yeah, because I mean it, I'm very thankful for that experience. But it really did open my eyes. And also just going to a private art school that is like an insane amount of money a year to go to- it just wasn't lining up and like I don't have the privileges that a lot of people at that school did have being able to have support financially. So it was very rough for me. Just trying to keep on top of everything and to make work to the extent that I knew I could make while focusing on having a job outside of school and stuff. And yeah, I do think that they still focus a lot on I guess like gallery artists are- really they, they want people to be a practicing artists outside of their profession, which I think is important. I think that like, you should make work for just you. And that if you have, well, the president of that school, I remember like, when we had our orientation, he was like, "If you have a choice between like doing art and doing anything else, you should do something else. Because if you were really an artist, there wouldn't be a choice." And that like really resonated with me. I was like, "That's how I've always felt," like, it's not a conscious choice that I made, it was just a part of who I'm, who I am. And it's always been with me, and I've never known anything different. And so I think that they really instill that into you. And I think by default, a lot of people think to be like a practicing artists, a gallery artist, somebody who does commissions or freelance work for their for their job. And I see nothing wrong with that. It's just, I struggle a lot with I guess, like, being authentic to myself, and not wanting to just create work that is pleasing to other people, because I know it's what people will like and what people will buy. And I think that it was just all around kind of a crazy time. And yeah, it was, it was a rough decision to make, but I definitely don't regret it. And now still having my friend that goes to that school, like no offense to that school, it's a great school, they have wonderful facilities and faculty- just wasn't the right choice for me. But she is thriving there, she loves it. So that's just goes to say that it's totally a personal preference on what you want out of your life and your education. 

Marissa  Yeah. Cool. What about like, now? Because you're still a student- how is your experience now?

Ela  it's been interesting, because I don't know, I went from a school that had like, every possible, like machine, tool I could ever want to make any sort of art to going to a school that barely has anything. So it's been a, it's been a struggle, trying to, like I guess like, it almost felt like I was taking steps backwards when I transferred schools, because I was learning so much. And like always experiencing new things at that school, and then going to the school, which doesn't have as great of funding for the art department. It was it was rough at first, but I quickly found my way in. And it also allowed me to have more independence in my studies, because at KCAI, I was always following what I was supposed to do, and always just being like thrown into the next thing that they wanted us all to cram into our four years there. But here I have a lot more choice to be able to focus more on what I want to do, like reusing materials, sustainability and stuff like that. So I'm very thankful that I get to like hone in my focus a little bit more, because if I do decide to go on and like get my masters, I think that that'll help me a lot, just having that like grounding and who, what I really, really want to focus on.

Marissa  Yeah, definitely. And then it's like, it's kind of, it would be kind of pointless, but which is good that you realize like that that wasn't for you. Because I feel like a lot of people have the experience like they stay with something because they think that they should but then they know it's not really what they actually want to work towards. So that's really good that you're in a situation now that you can focus on what you are really into. 

Ela  Yeah. I'm very thankful for the realizations that I had. But yeah.

Marissa  Cool. So then, you know, I know you said, you started, you like, opened your Etsy page in high school, when did it actually become something that you... did, like, you make a conscious, conscious decision, like, "I want to grow this into something," or that just happened?

Ela  Yeah. It was a conscious decision. So I've always like had an Etsy shop and I would just like throw a new zine on there or, I don't know, a print or something that I had been working on. But then last year when COVID happened, and I was working two jobs, which closed down because everything closed down. And I worked for a small, small businesses which couldn't afford to pay us still throughout quarantine. It became kind of like, "I need to figure something else out," to pay rent to be a person, you know. And so I kind of went a little ham on Etsy, and I started like, just designing a bunch of stickers and T shirts and stuff. The skate pup t-shirt specifically was going to be a fundraiser for a school trip that I was supposed to go on summer 2020 which obviously got cancelled. But then I had all these t-shirts, so I like needed to sell them. So that's kind of how that started. And then yeah, it just kind of took off from there. It was crazy. It was very busy for a while. It was like actually crazy. I had to like hire my roommate to help me. But yeah, that's kind of how it started. I've always had one, but it didn't really become like a feasible point of income until spring, summer of 2020. Which is crazy. Because, I mean, I know a lot of people were struggling a lot with their small businesses and stuff during quarantine and lockdown. But I also think that just people being online more, and people like having just more time to like, explore art and different things helped out a lot for my business specifically.

Marissa  Yeah, that's crazy. I thought it was- I don't know why I was like, under the impression that it was something that you had, like, it was- what am I trying to say? That it was like further back in time that you like had it as like, as big of a shop as you do now. 

Ela  Yeah, no, Etsy I've always had. Well, when I was at KCAI, I started vlogging, I started doing like, "day in the life of an art student". And I was like one of the first people to do that, which I think is where I got a lot of my following. But I wasn't really selling work. At least not commercial work, like stickers and T shirts and stuff until last year. So I think a lot of people have always been interested in me as an artist and as a creative person. I think I've always had people following me, but it didn't explode until last year. So yeah. 

Marissa  Yeah. 

Ela  It's crazy. Because it does-it's not that long ago, but it feels like forever.

Marissa  Yeah I know time is so weird. So then, I saw I don't know, I don't remember if it was a YouTube video or on your Instagram or like both, but you are working also another- is it just one other job right now?

Ela  Yeah, right now it's just one other job. I go through phases where I like will take on another job because I get bored or like, I don't know, mostly like, I've been trying to go on this like school trip with my school to Sweden for the past, like two years, but it keeps getting canceled. But I'll like, take on another job because I'm like, "I need to save money for this trip." But then like it gets canceled. I'm like, "I don't need to be working three jobs." But yeah, I still, I still work. I, there was a period where I was solely doing Etsy. But that was a really, I don't know, like I said, I think you're kind of catching on that I have this, like existential crisis. Like, being the kind of person that I think a lot of people picture me as is like, this person who just does art and makes money off of their art. And like, that's great. And I love that people can do that. But for me, it just doesn't feel right sometimes. And so it's easier for me to just like, go and get a job that is like, mindless and that, you know, because it's like making art and selling my work is like very personal to me. Somebody who's like, as emotional as I am that can be very stressful. And that's all that you do. There was really no separation of like, me and my work and home and relaxing. It all felt like a continuous stream. So, like I said, I know that there are people that like do that successfully, like love being an artist who works for themselves and stuff. And I do love parts of it. I just like I said, I'm just trying to figure out what makes me happy. And like, less stressful for me. But yeah, I'm very thankful and grateful for being able to support myself somewhat through art and doing that. But 100% relying  on Etsy was very stressful for me because people get tired of a certain design after so long, there's only so long that you can roll on one design. And just like having to create new stuff nonstop for consumers is something that wasn't making me happy. So I like to just make new designs now on my own time and have it be something that is like a fun side job that really does bring me joy so that I can eliminate all those stressors that I was feeling when it was my sole source of income.

Marissa  Cool, yeah, that is so interesting. Because like, I mean, I see a lot of people like online say very similar things. And but then I also see like people you know who it's like their full time thing. And yeah, so it's just super interesting to hear different people's views and experiences.

Ela  Yeah, I hope I'm not like putting anyone off to like pursuing making art for a living because like I said, it's totally a personal opinion and what brings you joy and what makes you happy. I totally understand that I've had an immense amount of privilege in being able to decide that that's not for me. But I, yeah, it's really fun like looking at artists that I really look up to who do this for a living. They're like always creating work, and like making new products and stuff and like they seem like they're doing amazing and I'm like, "Oh," a little part of you is like, "well what's wrong with me? Why is it not enough for me?" You know? But like I said, everybody's different. And I try not to be too hard on myself. And I try to just like, realize that I don't really have to live up to the expectations that I think other people have on me as an artist. And so that helps relieve a lot of pressure too like, yeah. 

Marissa  That's good. That's really good. Because I feel like sometimes I have, like, not- just like, in general with things like, trying to make something work that I think should work, but I need to just like, let myself do what is better for me. That's really good that you're like, already have- this has happened, like with your school and with work that you've been able to, like, be in tune with yourself and what is beneficial for you and not what you think you "should" be doing.

Ela  Yeah, I often think about how different my life might be, if I were to stick with that one thing, and then like, go at it until I exhaust it completely. But I also think that like being young, like, they really just try to, like, stick us in and be like, you pick one thing, and you're gonna do that. Like, I'm not a huge fan of that. I think that like life is too short. And that you shouldn't have to feel forced to do something that you don't want to do if you have, you know, a reason to be able to not do it. And I also think there's a lot of glamorization on the internet with small business owners, creators and stuff. Obviously, the grass is always greener. I really admire creators who are more transparent about, you know, kind of the ugly sides of being a content creator, being an artist, that whole thing. So it's a very fine line to walk. And I just hope that I'm like, not putting you off on like any of this.

Marissa  No, it's just yeah, I wanted to hear like your experience with it. And I mean, yeah. We can't really know, like, people can't really know unless, like, they get some kind of taste of it. I mean, well, I guess I take that back. Because you could- I feel like I do, like learn a lot from seeing other people's experiences and like imagining myself in their shoes. But yeah, I don't know where I was going with that. Cool. So then, can you talk about like, your- the work you make for, for, in school? And like, I guess versus like the work you sell on Etsy? How is that process? What's that process and like, how do you decide what to do?

Ela  Sure. So with school, I graduate next spring. So I'm kind of to the point where I have a lot of creative liberty to just kind of make whatever I want. I'm pretty far into my emphasis. And I have a very close mentor relationship with the sculpture teacher that I am a student under. And so he kind of just lets me make whatever I want to make. So I kind of just kind of base it off of whatever I'm feeling. I really want to, I want to work more with wood this last year, and just really get my technical skills together. Because I do want to have some good skills on paper, not just like all conceptual stuff, like I want to be able to be like, "I know how to work with this material, like totally, and I can do anything you want with this," you know, so I want to work a lot more with wood. And he does have some requirements for assignments, but mostly I can fit my ideas around them typically. My work for school is a lot more sculptural. Obviously, since I'm a sculpture student, I make a lot of large work, large scale work, 3d work. And then my work that I make for Etsy, it has like to me I like print work a lot for Etsy, because you spend a lot of time on this one design, and then you can print it in whatever medium you want. So stickers, t-shirts, magnets, prints, postcards, whatever. I think that that's like probably one of the best things about print work is that you can multiply this one thing that you spent so long on. You don't have to make 500 things that you spend forever on. You can spend a long time on one piece of work and turn it into like 20 different things. So I think about that, too. I also think about like shipping costs, because like shipping costs are crazy. So I tend to shy away from anything that is like too heavy. I like anything that can be shipped with a stamp. I think about that sort of stuff just because I think people as consumers are more likely to buy something if it doesn't cost so much to get to them. Because we have- we're like in a day and age where like Amazon and other companies can give you like free two day shipping and like small business owners just can't really compete with that, you know? And so my- a lot of my inspiration for I guess, like drawing just comes from daily life. Like my boyfriend's family owns a cattle farm. So that's where that little cow drawing came from. I really like animals and stuff like that. So that's a lot of what I draw. I like to also just like, ask people what they want me to draw, because oftentimes, you can just like, create a block if you're not opening up to other people's ideas. So yeah, that's- the cow thing was a combination of somebody had requested that and I saw a little baby calf at my boyfriend's family farm. And I was like, "I have to draw it. Like, there's no choice now." So yeah, I think that that's really the separation, like both mediums I draw from my life experience. But I definitely do have more of a entrepreneur, entrepreneurial, like mindset when I'm making stuff for my Etsy just because, like, I do oftentimes make that work with the, with the vision that it's going to be sold on Etsy, whereas my schoolwork I don't really ever show anybody my schoolwork. I think the only people that see my schoolwork are the people at school, or like the scholarship boards, when they're like looking at my portfolio and stuff. I would love to be able to, like merge the two but I have a very, I don't know, I, I have throughout the years of being on Instagram, I've learned to really separate my personal life from my like business life. So I think that that's where a lot of the separation happens. And I think that that's why a lot of people when they actually sit down and talk to me about my experience as an artist are kind of shocked to hear all this because I don't always talk about this to everyone on like Instagram and stuff. Because I don't think a lot of people even want to hear me.

Marissa  I mean, I'm interested but yeah. Cool. So then I thought of a question and then I forgot it based on something that you said.

Ela  Oh always happens to me.

Marissa  Yeah, I'll remember it later. Maybe. So you talked about already a little bit- inspiration. Can you talk about like your process in general for either for school or for stuff you're going to sell or both?

Ela  Yeah. Um, so I am a huge advocate of sketchbooks. I think sketchbooks are like the most important thing an artist can have. I am really fascinated by the process of creating work. Oftentimes, like that's something that's more interesting to me than the finished piece itself. Like I like to see how you got from point A to point B. And everything in between there. And so I think that like documenting how you make your work and sketching is really important. I think that that's why I tend to do that like I've always had a sketchbook since I started art school. You can like flip-you can just like see the different stages of my life if you like open up all the different sketchbooks. So I typically always whether it's school work or Etsy work, I will always start off with a sketch or idea. I'll do color swatches, shape, just like play around with shapes and forms. And then I, mostly a lot of my Etsy work is done digitally so it's done on procreate but I do occasionally do like hand draw a traditional illustration and and then I'll scan it in and edit it and that's something I've been wanting to do a lot more of because there's just like some brushstrokes and like things that like the iPad can't recreate it so that is something that I really want to try and get more into because I think that that'll give me more of kind of that organic look that I'm looking for in a lot of my work. And so yeah, a lot, a lot of my Etsy work is done digitally and then I wish that I had the facilities to like be able to print 500 t-shirts at home but I don't so I will either order from a shop in town or like I'm ordering my tote bags from noissue because they recently came out with a sustainable tote bag so they say. And yeah, I think that just like sketching stuff out. I know that that's like the most boring thing and probably not helpful at all but sketching and it helps really figure out colors and stuff if you can at least like find some colors that you like to go together then you can make almost anything. So yeah.

Marissa  What about like, do you have like sketchbooks or pieces, things that you make not even for Etsy or for school like just stuff you make to make it? 

Ela  Yeah, I make stuff all the time just for me. Um, I think that that is something that keeps me really like rooted in being an artist because I think it's important to not make work for anyone but yourself. Sometimes I think that we can get really caught up, especially if you do have your own, like shop where you sell your art and you're a student you get kind of trapped in this routine of like, making this thing for school then making this thing for your shop and like bouncing between the two, but then never sitting down and actually making the stuff that, you know, your heart wants to get out. And so I do make stuff on my own time. And there was like a realization where I was talking to one of my friends, and he was like, "You know, I think it's great that you're like always making stuff even when it's not for school, because," he was like, "I only make stuff if it's for school." And I'm like, "Yeah, I never really thought of it like that." But again, it was one of those things, I didn't really feel like I had a choice. That it kind of is, to me, it's more like compulsion, like, I just have to do it. I'm kind of scared to see what would happen if I don't do it. Like, what would I become? You know?

Marissa  Yeah, how do you like, I mean, I don't know exactly what your schedule is like, but just hearing like, you know that you're still student and that you still... more so now you said on your own time when you feel like it, are making things for Etsy, and you have like, another job -how do you make it happen that you can still just naturally make stuff for yourself? Because I feel like I want to... like, I feel like I get overwhelmed easily. And it's like, and then I have like all these things that I want to do just for myself, but I feel like I can't do it. So how do you like fit that in?

Ela  No, I do too. I, when I was at KCAI my life was in a state of just like constantly overwhelmed. Like, I felt like I had no time to do anything that I wanted and no time to do the things that I needed to do. I just had no time. And so for me, I am an avid list maker. I love making lists. And like even just like the silliest thing, like I'll write down like, "sketch tennis shoe" or something because like, I'll be in the car and I'll see something and I'm like, "I want to draw that," and I'll have to write it down or I'll forget and I won't do it. This is not a healthy coping mechanism, but I do have a tinge of-what is it called?- bedtime revenge procrastination?

Marissa  Ohh! Yeah! I barely found out about that, like literally, like two weeks ago. And I was like, "Oh, yeah, I do that too."

Ela  Yeah I have that to a tee. Like when I get home after a long day of going to school in the morning and then working all night, I will literally stay up to the wee hours of the morning because that's like my only me time. And it sucks because like you really are exhausting yourself. But at the same time, it's like very liberating to have that free time if your daily life you don't have much control over. It's really nice to kind of hone in some of that control again. Is it healthy? Probably not. Like should I be getting more sleep? Yes. But I'm still here still doing fine. Haven't gotten fired from my job or failed any of my classes. So I think it's all good. 

Marissa  Yeah, that's good to know. 

Ela  I don't want anyone to feel like they aren't, like, doing enough. I don't want anyone to feel like you know, I don't like the people that are like, "We all have the same 24 hours a day." I'm like, "Yeah, we do. But it's like easier for some people." Like I definitely am by no means high functioning, I would not consider myself a high functioning person. I need rest and time to just do nothing. But it's just about I guess, like picking your battles. And sometimes I do have to say no to doing things like commission work or hanging out with friends because like, I just have to, I need time to not be a real person, so...

Marissa  Yeah. What do you think that it's gonna be like when you're done with school, like, do you have like, projects planned or stuff planned?

Ela  Yeah, it's, it's very scary for me to think about because like I graduated in 2015. But then I took that year off then I took another semester off and then like, all these weird things that happened in between, but at the same time, I still feel like I've been in school the whole time. Basically, other than the few semesters I took off. So like this has been such a part of who I am, I guess, like being a student. So it is a little bit stressful to think that I'm like, nearing the end of that. I've, I've talked a lot to my teachers that I'm close to at my school about like teaching at the collegiate level because that still allows you to have a lot of free time to do your own work. But it also gives you like a really great outlet to work with, you know, young people, emerging artists, kind of stay in the loop of what's new. Because I think that that's really important as an artist is to just keep learning about what is going on. But then it also gives you kind of like, a job that is, you know, it's a creative job, but it's also just kind of like a job that you can just like, not have to worry so much. And you get like summers and stuff. Like, you know, that would be great. But the thing is you have to get a master's degree. So I would have to go and do that, which I'm totally open to. It's just, I don't know, I have been in school for so long. So it does kind of make me not want to do any more school. But I do... I do think that again, like I know a lot of MFA stuff like since that's the terminal degree for art, you have a lot of interdisciplinary stuff where you kind of just get to do whatever you want, which does sound fun to me. But there's no program near me. So I would definitely have to move, which is something that- something that is kind of hard for me to think about, because I do really value stability at the same time. I know it probably doesn't sound like that since I hop from one thing to another. But I do, I do have one plan. I would like to do an artist's residency in Iceland next summer after I graduate. But we'll see how that goes. I'm going to apply to it sometime within this next year. But who knows if- it's hard to plan stuff. COVID is still thing and yeah, so that's my one plan. I have a lot of plans for my senior show. That's kind of really what's on the horizon for me, is just planning a lot for I guess, like my capstone experience. Like the last four years I've been at this school, it's going to be crazy that this entire span of being in school can all be just like turned into like a couple nights and a gallery show. Like that feels weird to me. But yeah. No concrete plants other than the residency. Yeah, sorry, that's...I'm like getting introspective here.

Marissa  Yeah, I just was curious on your thoughts on that, because- so like me, I don't know. It's like weird too, because I graduated college in 2018. And then, like, I took a semester off, and I realized, like, at the end, I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do after. I got a degree in Gender and Women's Studies, and I had some ideas, but then I was like, oh, like, maybe I'll work in a nonprofit or try to be in government or something else. Like, that doesn't sound like- that sounds too stressful. And then especially like, a lot of nonprofit stuff. And the thing is too like, I don't know if it's just me, but I've talked to other people like my age, who are like, "how do you how do you like research? Or find jobs to like, apply to?" So then, like, that was an issue after I graduated, I was like, "How do I even find stuff that might be interesting to me?" So then, but then I also had like realized I was interested in art, but I was already graduating. So I was like, "Let me just graduate ready, but I can still go to like a community college." So now I'm like, I have like one class right now. And I'm still like, planning to take stuff that I'm interested in. I'm like, Okay, well, I've stayed like, in my position that I was working in while I was going to school. And so I just stayed with that because I can just like do that and not think about it. It's-I work in a school. And then I can like, figure out still what I want to do with my life and career and stuff. So it's kind of, I mean, you know, everyone's experience is different. But for me, like, that's kind of what happened. And I feel like it's kind of... I thought things would change, but it's just like, I don't know. 

Ela  Yeah. No, I think that a lot of us are just kind of going through the motions of what everyone is telling us, we should do. Like we hit these pivotal ages, where we're supposed to be doing certain things. And so we think we need to be doing those certain things in order to be happy or fulfilled. But I mean, I did that and I don't think that is the case. I think a lot more people are kind of finding their own way through things too, as well. I know that like graduating school is a huge identity thing for me, which I think is why I gravitate towards the idea of wanting to be a teacher because I think I'll be in school for like the rest of my life, technically. But I don't think that being a teacher would be an easy job either. Like I know that, you know, that's a lot of work and teachers often don't get paid fairly and stuff like that. So I'm not like, I don't have this like idea this like perfect life after college or anything like that. But I do think that it is really important to just take the time that you need to really figure out that you're making the right choice because like, if I could have saved myself, the time from going-I wouldn't change anything. But like, I think that I didn't fully take into consideration how much money or time I was spending. Or you know, some kids go into like student debt for school and stuff like that. Those are like lifelong decisions that you're making at 18 and then people don't, I think put enough importance on that. They're like, stressed out because you want to get a small tattoo at 18 but not that you want to sign away like $100,000 when you're 18, you know?

Marissa  Yeah especially when you don't really know what you like, what you're interested in. And that's kind of always changes, but especially at that age, yeah.

Ela  Yeah. Well, that was another thing. Like I couldn't figure out just one thing I wanted to do. Like, I still can't do that. Like, when when we were having to pick like what area of art we wanted to go into, like ceramics or painting or fiber or sculpture. Like I wanted to do it all. I was like, "Can't I do it all?" But I guess some things you need a little bit more direction. But yeah, I have thought about taking, like, a gap year or whatever, to really decide if I want to go off to get a master's degree. I think that that's probably what would be best for me, just because I'm kind of like a one track mind kind of person. Like I see a thing at the end, and I just get there. I don't think that I can, like, fully make a good choice about what my plan should be after graduating until I've already graduated. And I see like where my life is at. 

Marissa  Yeah, that makes sense. Cool. Um, I wanted to ask a little bit more about your, like drawing and making work and stuff and the mediums that you use. So for example, like, how long have you used digital art tools like procreate?

Ela  Yeah, I actually just got my iPad and procreate, like, at the end of 2019. So it wasn't very long before I was making a lot of different things. Like, the cool thing about digital artist is that you can make so much in such a short amount of time, like you can make a new thing like every 30 seconds. It just makes things really easy because you don't have to wait for things to dry, you can erase things if you mess up, you know. And so it really opened up kind of that option for me to be able to make new work more consistently to be able to sell it if I wanted to do that. I do think, I find a very great importance in traditional illustration- in ink drawing, painting that whole thing. I definitely don't want to lose that in my work, which is why I think I would like to do more mixed media kind of stuff. Actually, like, I don't know, doing maybe illustrations that have like collage, but then touching it up on procreate or doing half of it on procreate, and half of it in real life or whatever. Because I do think that that would help me feel more in touch with the work. I think with a lot of my digital work, why I was like very unhappy with the idea of capitalizing off of it and you know, that being an extension of me is because it's all very impersonal to be making work on an iPad. I don't think that that's the case for every person that makes digital work. But for me specifically, as somebody who has always just been a pen and paper kind of gal. I struggled a lot with feeling connected and really feeling like this was something that I wanted to associate my name with because it's your it's your work and yeah, it's a part of you. And if you're not entirely happy with it, it can feel very stressful to like put that forward for people to scrutinize or enjoy if you're not feeling 100% like it's a part of you, you know? 

Marissa  Yeah. Yeah. I'm just like, "dang, yeah, that's so true." Do you have a scanner?

Ela  I don't that is something that I want to invest in. There's a lot of things that I want that I wish-

Marissa  I know, those are so expensive, right? 

Ela  Yeah, when I was a KCAI, they had really, really, really good scanners. Which made it a lot easier. I made a lot more scanned in work. But it's just kind of, I don't have a scanner, we have one at the public library and in my school that I can use, but it's kind of like, you know, when you're in the zone, and you're making something you don't really want to drive or walk to the library or something. I've been using for the longest time, just like anything I need to turn in that needs to be like scanned, I've been using, like camscanner app. Which I think that there's like really great hacks that you can use just like on your phone and stuff. So I'm not like negating that like, just because somebody uses camscanner or something that they're like, not a real artist or whatever. Because I think that like, being an artist just means making do with what you have. And just creating, you know, and so yeah, I would love to get a scanner, that would make things a lot easier. But yeah, no.

Marissa  Yeah, I'm just asking, because I always wonder sometimes like- so some of these questions are kind of, you know, like selfish, because it's like situations that I'm like, in that I want to like, I'm curious about how you handle those things. Because I don't have a scanner. And I do have a problem with like, or I feel like it's a problem where like, I have a lot of ideas of stuff I want to make but then like it's hard to make it because I feel like it's just like going through all those all of the certain steps. And I feel like- and I think too, it's a problem I have where if something is, doesn't go how I wanted it, it goes like "wrong", I don't want to finish something. Whereas like, so I recently bought an iPad. It's the first time I've ever had an iPad. So I could like make digital work. And  I've only made like one or two things so far. I've literally only had it for like two weeks. And I'm enjoying it. I'm just like, I don't know, I don't know if it's like, maybe it doesn't- I was like wondering, I don't know if it's good or bad. But maybe it doesn't have to be good or bad. Just like, you know, I was thinking though maybe that can be something that can help me to make stuff that feels like how I want it to be, because it's so easy to like edit or go back and like do a sketch and then do the final drawing over it. Because like I don't know, I get frustrated easily with like, even though I really love the way traditional things, like you said, just like the traditional look of those things. And I, part of me, of the stuff I want to make, I want to learn how to make digital stuff look as analog as possible. But... damn, I forgot where I was gonna end with that sentence. But yeah, just like I'm wondering like, how do people go deal with all of that? Yeah.

Ela  yeah, I still have not perfected that whole thing. I think that the iPad is great, because you can start over and you can fix things. And I also like that you can revisit things like if you just start a new layer between everything, like you can fix basically anything or you know, copy anything you want. Which I think is really, really great. Because oftentimes, when you are just drawing, traditionally, when you get that frustration, you do sort of reach a point where you have maybe put too much on the paper, and you can't go back. So I do appreciate that you can do that on an iPad, you can kind of step away, and then you can be like, "Oh, whoa, I shouldn't have done that." And then you can just take it off. So I really, really think that it's a very valuable tool to have in this day and age. But I think yeah, just stick with it. Because like when I first got my iPad I did not, I wasn't 100% sold on it. I was like, "Oh, this is fun", you know, like, "Yay, procreate drawing", but I kind of didn't really realize how well I could utilize it until a few months later. So definitely, like don't give up on it. It'll have its moment with you. I promise. You'll, all of a sudden things will all click and they'll all align and you will be like "ah!" Because like that's kind of how it happened to me. And also just like learning about what exactly you can do on procreate and stuff like watching videos on Squarespace or like YouTube helped me a lot too because there were things that I didn't realize were so much easier. When I was, how I was doing it. 

Marissa  Yeah, I've already seen a few videos And I'm like, "Oh my god!" at the different ways you can use it. And I do think that I am gonna really enjoy it. But part of me already feels like guilty for wanting to just make, focus on digital work as opposed to traditional work. I'm like, "Why am I even-at the end I should just, it's just about like making stuff that I want to make so."

Ela  Exactly. At the end of the night it's just about making. And it shouldn't matter how you got there. I don't, I, I'm not like, I wasn't trying to be like, "Oh, this is how you should do things." I was just saying I would really like to incorporate more traditional illustration. But the like reality is that most of the work that I have created in the past year for Etsy has been 100% digital, and but that doesn't make it any less of a successful work or anything like that. So yeah. It's, it's, everything is a double edged sword.

Marissa  Yeah. Cool. So I know it's almost 6:30. I just had a couple questions left for you. Um, I guess it's kind of like two in one, but they're like, related. So how do you... Do you feel like you need to, and if so, how do you take breaks from making work? And then like, what do you just like to do for fun?

Ela  Yeah. So I do always constantly feel like I need a break from making work because when it's, just like I said, when it feels like an extension of yourself, when it feels like just another limb you have, like you being an artist is just like having a third arm- it can be hard to separate that from who you are. And it can be hard to separate work from home and relaxing from work. Because even when you are making things for yourself, sometimes you know you're in that mode, where it's like, "oh, I'm making things all the time for work. And so if I'm making stuff now it feels like work," even though it's not. Like your mind just can't really switch off sometimes, at least that's how I felt. And that's how it really, really was when I was doing Etsy all the time, full time. There was no separation for me, and I was like very drained all the time, even though I was doing what I loved and making stuff and you know, but I definitely think that it's important to take breaks. I really like to go camping. I know that's not like everyone's cup of tea, but I love camping. I love swimming. I'm like not like a woowoo hippie person, like at all like I'm very skeptical of that sort of stuff. But like, there's like scientific reason behind like grounding and like spending time in nature and stuff. And so like that's really nice, but even just like staying home and like cleaning my apartment and doing those things that like are just like menial like tasks that sometimes you just forget, can like, just make you feel better, like tidying your house, cleaning your room, sorting your closet, that stuff that is work, but feels not like work to me because it's like time away from other things that I feel like are expected of me. And obviously spending time with friends, thrifting- I think that's a big one for me.

Marissa  Oh yeah, I like seeing when you post them.

Ela  Yeah, I love, I love sharing thrift stuff. Because I mean, I'm six foot two, but I'm also like plus size. So like, it's not exactly easy to find stuff that one: fits me or two: is it a style that I like? So I always just- I like, I like to see other people's stuff too. So that's kind of like my rule for sharing. It's like if I would want to see something like this then I'll share you know, like, if I would want to see somebody else post about this. But yeah. Yeah, just thrifting, spending time with friends, other normal 20-something things.

Marissa  Yeah, cool. That's cool. I want to, I really want to camp but nobody in my, like my- because I'm married, my husband's not into that. And I feel like there's no one else, and because I mostly hang out with my family. But there's no other family members that I would want to go camping with. Yeah, I need to like figure that out.

Ela  Yeah, it can be hard. I'm lucky enough to have like, my boyfriend loves camping and my roommate loves camping. All my friends love being out in nature and doing that stuff. So yeah, I haven't ever done like a solo trip. That's something that I would like to do. But it can be a little scary, especially when being a woman, to go camping on your own. But I know there are people that do it successfully. There are ways that you can be safe about it. But yeah, I hope that you can find a friend out there that would be, especially, do you live in California? 

Marissa  Yeah. 

Ela  There's gotta be, there's some great camping spots out there. Like I live in Missouri. So it's like it's like not exactly the prettiest place around.

Marissa  Yeah need to figure it- there's like groups and stuff, but I'm working on it. That's cool that you like to do that. Cool. So that's pretty much it. Is there anything, like any advice you would give to any artists?

Ela  I think that out of everything that I've word vomited tonight, the only thing that I really want people to hold on to is that just be authentic to yourself and live your truth. And try not to worry too much about what you think the world or society or the internet is expecting you to be. Because that's the pressure that I felt for a really long time was trying to be the artist that all my followers wanted me to be. But that's, you know, that's just a race that you can never win. And at the end of the day, the only thing that's important is how you feel and people that are around you and just being authentic. And yeah, that's it.

Marissa  Yeah, very important. And can be hard at times too.

Ela  For sure. Yeah.

Marissa  Yeah. But yeah. Cool. Well, thank you so much for talking to me and everything.


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